Yo Yo Yo, What’s Poppin’?

Hey there, hope you’re well!

I, for one, am doing much better… ish.

I am back at work and finally have a proper diagnosis, which is cool. I am on appropriate medication that makes me feel, gasp, normal.

God, it’s like coming up for air.

I haven’t felt normal in years.

I’ve been plagued with paralyzing anxiety and crippling depression for so very long. I didn’t realize that I didn’t have to feel that way. I didn’t realize that the medications that I had previously been taking were having such a negative impact on me.

My provider at the time told me that this is just how it has to be. This is the price of sanity.

I believed them.

So I dealt with the brain fog.

I dealt with waking up every morning feeling barely able to function.

I dealt with the weight gain.

I dealt with the anhedonia.

Now, I have a new doctor and team that takes my wellbeing seriously. I am on medications that treat my symptoms and don’t leave me as a husk of a human.

I forgot what this felt like-this stability and normalcy.

It’s nice. It’s very very lovely.

I am able to appreciate my life again. I can even, dare I say it, feel actual joy.

It’s a damn shame that there’s something in the water making people unbelievably irritable, angry, and short-tempered.

I was already terrified of going back to work after my hospitalization, but I was optimistic because of my newfound appreciation for life.

God, it’s been awful.

I was yelled at by a colleague for the first time in my career. It left me uncontrollably crying for a good hour.

Yesterday, I had a surgeon and all of his residents absolutely gang up on me for the whole day.

I had an ICU nurse tear me a new one because I didn’t call him to let him know that we are taking his patient to the OR.

Which, like, that sounds bad. I know.

Here’s the thing though.

ICU nurses only have a max of two patients. It is their job to know their patients in incredible detail.

So, like, what the hell do you mean that you didn’t know that your patient is going for surgery this morning? An elective procedure and the first case of the day? Come on now.

I’ve taken many a patient from the ICU and it’s never been an issue before.

It would be one thing if this was communicated to me in a civil way, but it wasn't. It was aggressive and punitive.

Silly shit.

This week has kicked my ass.

I don’t know if there’s something going on astrological or whatever, but people seem to be mean right now dude.

But, you know, we get through it. We always do. I just need to keep my head up and get through my shifts.

So that’s been my week. Kind of hellish, honestly.

Right now is cool though.

I’m in line for Record Store Day for some limited pressings of some very lovely vinyl.

If you don’t know, Record Store Day is a single day where indie record stores only receive exclusive pressings of limited edition vinyl records. It is an event designed to bring business to small businesses in music.

Holy hell, does it work.

You can only get these records in person. It’s a first come, first serve basis and there is limited stock for pressings. No ordering online. No holding.

So people line up.

Some people camp overnight, it’s fucking nuts.

I, for one, got here 3 hours before the store opens. I’ve been to bigger stores for this event and the lines can wrap around the building and out into the street for blocks.

I’m not doing that again.

For one, you have to get there egregiously early to even have a chance of getting the records that you want. If there’s a long line, it also takes forever to get through it.

So, this year, I’ve delegated to try a smaller shop.

I think it’ll work! There are only ten people in front of me and I am optimistic.

The record that I want the most is a seven-inch pressing of Taylor Swift’s “Elizabeth Taylor”. It’s a gorgeous purple, sparkly, marbled vinyl.

Plus, like, my name is in the song beside her’s. Elizabeth and Taylor.

(Maybe that’s a little silly, but goddammit, it means something to me)

Of course it’s a rainy, cold morning to be outside sitting on concrete for hours. It’s a damn shame too because we’ve had summer-like weather lately.

I want the Taylor Swift pressing, Mayday Parade, the Wicked soundtrack, John Coltrane, and Ethel Cain. I hope that I can get them. I’m also working a half shift today so it’ll be cutting it close to get to work, but I think it’ll be cool.

Wish me luck, yeah?